The Sweatshop of Lovers Blog

Velma gets a bad rap.

Velma Attacked by Elephants

She is the bitchy one. The princess. She is anorexic and bulimic at the same time because she is too vain for only one eating disorder.

Velma on the Toilet

She is the hot one, and no one likes the hot one.

Velma turned 7 this weekend. Which means I’m coming up to my 7th year in Chicago.

I transferred to Columbia College here in Chicago in 2003 after one year at Adrian College, a tiny liberal arts school in south east Michigan. I liked it there but spent the whole year planning my escape.  I spent the summer between schools at home with a healthy case of social anxiety disorder and a cheating boyfriend. Luckily for me fleeing from the cheating boyfriend overwhelmed my desire to stay in my house and not talk to anyone, so I found an apartment and headed to the big city.

Velma and Edmond

But not before my friend Jeff and I were driving around the unpaved roads of our hometown, Allendale MI, saw a free cats sign, pulled over, and walked into a cat-infested barn.

There were a million six toed cats running around, and tiny Velma sitting in the corner. Jeff spotted her.

“She got stuck in the milk tower for days, that’s why she is so skinny,” the owner informed us. “She was screaming so loud we had to climb up there and get her.”

Clearly cats weren’t a huge priority on this farm, so what I now know as Velma’s sounds-like-a-baby-being-strangled cry saved her life. Spending days at the top of a milk tower as a kitten set her up for her life of self imposed malnutrition.

We moved to Chicago a week later.

Velma, named after the super hot man killer Chicago character Velma Kelly, (clever!) only likes me because I’m much less attractive than she is. I’m her ugly pity friend, which I’m ok with. She is one of those cats that sticks to herself unless you need her. If I’m upset she senses it and is by my side immediately. Every time.

Velma, Pudge, and PT

She’s had quite a few men in her life, and, being the slut she is, has loved the shit out of every one.

I remember thinking, at 19, that I’d have Velma when I started having kids. But now that I know her I know she would never stand for that shit. Babies? She can barely handle Pudge.

Pudge is the opposite of Velma in every way; lovable, big, cuddly, and a big slob. Pudge sleeps on her back with her legs open and, GASP!, eats in front of people.

I love them both. But Velma will always be my first pet on my own. It was me and her, alone in the big city, before anyone else. She is the super hot bitchy model friend I’ll never have in person form.

So, Miss Velma Kelly, happy 7th birthday. I know you are telling people you are only 4, but I know the truth.

Built By Wendy Mini Dress

When I get something in my head I just need to do it. That is why, two days after writing a post about needing to sew a dress, I sewed this dress.

It was SLOW going. I haven’t sewn a garment in a long time, so it was hard getting the language down. I’ve always had a hard time with right sides and wrong sides, and making sure the seams are in the right spot and match with other seams.

Materials for Dress

It’s kind of amazing that just a zipper and some fabric is all it takes to make a dress. I think we lose sight of that when we are in a store shopping for clothes. Well, fabric, a zipper, and a LOT of time.

You’d think that without needing to form the fabric sewing would be a snap. This dress took me, opening pattern to these pictures, about 8 hours. Granted, I seriously screwed up a few times and needed to rip it up. But that is a lot of time for a little dress.

Funny how I have patience for knitting but nothing else.

Pudge and Velma Helpers

I also had to fight with Pudge and Velma the whole time. They REALLY wanted to help. I really locked them in the bathroom.

Gathered Top

The gathered neckline was kinda tricky, and it needs some more pressing. I was a little over ironing yesterday since I managed to not only burn a finger, but also my bicep. With an iron. Smooth. But I’ll press it more before I wear it for real.

Mini Dress!

I need a friend to help tie the ties, but I love the color, love the neckline, love the length, love how it looks with my plaid tights. I think I’ll throw on some heels (and some makeup!) and be good for my Memorial Day wedding.

Sewing is fun!

Edmund Likes Records!

I joke a lot about how I always, ‘go for cute.’ If something is cute, I love it. If I see the chance to make something cuter, I do it. If I see a pattern for an owl with huge fabric eyes and a scarf, I knit it.

This is Edmund the Owl. I found him on ravelry here and his pattern is here.

My grandma loves toys. She says it is because when she was little they didn’t have any toys so now she is making up for it. I knit those elephants for her for Christmas and she psychotically loved them! I don’t think a conversation between us ends without an elephant update. They are hanging on the TV. One of them attacked Papa. Those elephants are hard to control!

Hanging out with Velma

My papa hasn’t been doing to well lately, and my grandma has been understandably distressed about it. Who am I kidding; do I really need an excuse to knit an owl for my grandparents?

Going for a Bike Ride!

He knit up really quickly. The pattern is super easy to follow and he obviously turned out great. I cut his little eyes out of some fabric I had laying around, then used a sharpie for his pupils.

Pondering Life

PT made a guest knit appearance! He knit that scarf all by himself. Well, besides the CO and BO. He did a great job and Edmund is now very warm!

I’m going to ship him off to my grandparents this afternoon. I think Velma is going to miss him!

I had to leave Pudge Rodriguez and Velma in Chicago while I went to Michigan for Christmas because they are both spoiled and hate other people/animals. Especially Velma. I left the house in tip top shape.

Yarn and Puke

More Yarn and Puke

Six days later, not so much.

My apartment has five rooms. Four of them were covered in yarn and three of them had puke in them.

Three balls of yarn got it bad, and one rug.

I love them but they are menaces. I blame Pudge for the yarn and Velma for the puke. They were both looking seriously guilty for hours after I got home and Velma avoided me for the rest of the day.

New Pillows!

My mom made me these pillows for Christmas! She knit them with strips of fleece, then used them to cover pillow forms. And, looking at my futon, she made almost everything on it! That quilt, the other pillows behind the new ones. Everything but the knitted shawl over the back. That was my first knitting project!

Which brings me to my random facts! Anne at fANNEtastic food gave me the Beautiful Blogger Award! How sweet is that? It is funny when you are reading someone’s blog and then come across yourself. I recently found Anne’s food blog and have been really enjoying it. She is fun and genuine and a really engaging writer. Thanks, Anne!

So the deal is I’ve got to share 7 random facts about myself, then choose 7 people to pass it on to.

1. My first knitting project was that gigantic shawl on the back of my futon. I learned to knit when I was a senior in high school, and my knitting teacher found the pattern and just told me to go for it. The pattern ran out but I just kept going, figuring it out along the way. It’s too big to wear, but makes an amazing blanket! It taught me to never worry about trying to do something you don’t know how to do, in knitting and in life. Try it, figure it out, make it happen.

2. I was bitten by a dog when I was little. I’ve got a big scar on the left side of my forehead and my hair doesn’t grow very well on that side, so I’ve got to have a right side part to cover it up so I don’t look like I’m bald, or scare small children. I call it my Harry Potter scar. I’ve got cuts around my nose from it, too, but they kind of look like freckles, so they are actually just enhancing the cute.

3. But I still love dogs! I get super irritated when people go on and on about how they got bit by a dog when they were little, so they are scared of them. Buck up, dude. You can’t live your life scared.

4. I really, really, really, really love baseball and football. I joke around about it on the blog and in person, but in a list of people/things that I love, baseball and football would be in the top ten. I read about it excessively, I get depressed and happy depending on how my team is doing. I even cry about it. It’s sick. I love it and it never loves me back. I hate it, but I love love love it.

5. I used to be an ugo fatty. I was a dessert vegetarian for years before I got it together. I stopped eating red meat when I was in 5th grade, and replaced protein with sugar. I weighed 180 pounds at 5′ 6″. I made up for it by being funny. When I was 21 I started taking care of myself, working out and eating better, lost 50 pounds, and now I’m a hottie. I’m still not used to it. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and don’t even recognize myself.

6. I don’t do fancy. I’d much rather buy fancy ingredients and make a meal at home than go out to a fancy restaurant. I gauge the worth of food in terms of burrito prices – if I’m spending $20 dollars on a meal I better want that meal more than I would want 6 burritos. And can you really want anything more than you would want 6 burritos?

7. And I don’t like jewelry. I never got my ears pierced. I wear bracelets sometimes but not really. I can’t remember the last time I put on a necklace. I always joke that if someone wants to propose to me they better bring me an engagement couch or put a down payment on an engagement house, because if you spend a million dollars on an engagement ring I’ll return it and buy myself a room full of engagement yarn.

And now for the people I’m choosing:

1. Noel and Joelle at The Owls are Not What They Seem, for having super style with a hit of crafty diy love.

2. Jeanna at I Didn’t Hit You, I Just High-Fived Your Face, for always being funny, no matter what crappy things might be going down.

3. PT at Acme Valley, who needs a little blogging motivation.

4. Sarah at Brainphreak, for her ability to just jump into things! Figuring out patterns herself and being a ridiculously fearless crafter.

5. Beth at El Dugan, for being an amazing and seriously funny writer.

6. Nick at NICK HAUS. EVERY post makes me happy.

7. Julie at Knitted Bliss, for always knitting the most beautiful and the most silly patterns out there.

So again, Anne, thanks so much for the blogger award! I hope y’all have as much fun with it as I did.

Holy Grocery Shopping!

Upon arriving back in Chicago from my week long Michigan hiatus, it appeared to me that I had bought out the entirety of West Michigan. PT and I buy all of our groceries at one time, having no car, but the state of our kitchen table yesterday was out of control.

$24 Microwave!

In addition to the beets I picked up Black Friday, I also snagged this handsome microwave that tells the time even when you use the timer! Holy technology!

$13 Sheets!

AND I got these flannel sheets for crazy cheap, too. Velma and Pudge Rodriguez approved and made it very hard to make the bed at the same time.

Banana Pepper, Caramelized Onion, and Pineapple Pizza

Sunday also reprized Pizza Sunday! Despite all the groceries we bought we are seriously lacking some fresh vegetables, so we had to dig around the pantry for pizza toppings.

Mark and PT are PUMPED

Mark and PT were in football/pizza heaven, with a Minnesota Vikings victory over the Bears and amazing, bacon topped pizzas.

Mark+Pudge=LOVE

Then Pudge snuggled up! Pudge is in love with Mark, who is a little allergic to kitty lovin’. So tragic!

Naturally as soon as I had a moment to let all that lack of sleeping and eating only pie catch up to me I was down for the count! My body rejected movement of any kind yesterday and I’m pretty sure I slept 18 of the last 24 hours. Just sitting up at my desk right now is taking a lot out of me! Coming back from that Eastern time zone is sure rough.

Yesterday started with a pretty gruesome sight.

Elephant Parts Everywhere!

Well, actually yesterday started with 2 1/2 elephant bodies, and I was determined to end it with three elephants.

3/4 of Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring, 1 episode of The Biggest Loser, 2 episodes of Mad Men, 1/2 a yellow elephant body, 6 ears, and 12 legs later:

I Think They Love Me!

I had three adorable elephants staring at me, but I was too tired to care. It was an extreme day of elephant knitting, and I didn’t want to look at them anymore.

But this morning they were chilling on the window sill.

They Seriously Love Me!

And then they attacked Velma.

Velma Didn't Think This Was Very Funny

They made an Elephant Parade!

Can't Handle the Cuteness!

Which made them really hungry, so I made them lunch.

Crockpot Soup and Half a Grilled Cheese

You might remember my first elephant I knit a couple months ago. This poor guy is MIA! He was moonlighting at a few classes and might have been left behind? Hopefully he found a nice home.

I modified the pattern (free Ravelry download) a bit. The increases on the pattern are wrong so I just stuck to the number of stitches for each increase row and kept reminding myself, ‘It is an elephant butt. It doesn’t have to be perfect.’

I also put some dried navy beans in the body before I stuffed each body. The nose makes him very front heavy, and those beans did the trick.

These elephants are for my grandma and I’m sure she will love them! She loves toys, and they will probably end up above their TV.

Tuna Goodness

When I was little my mom always had to work late on Thursday nights, so my dad was in charge of dinner. He always said we could have anything under the sun. Sometimes we took advantage of his declaration and went to our favorite restaurant Sam’s Joint, a small chain of restaurants in West Michigan that apparently doesn’t have a website. But a lot of the time we just wanted Tuna Helper.

I did a little googling and they have like 12 different verities of Tuna Helper now! Different cheeses and seasoning flavors. I’m pretty sure we had one choice in the early ’90s, and that was Fatty Mc’Fat.

(A 12 pack of Fatty Mc’Fat on Amazon!)

So last March I got a weird craving for Tuna Helper and made some without the box, which has pretty much everything you need to make Tuna Helper but some milk, butter, and a can of tuna. Since then I’ve made it for PT and even dinner guests. And now you, too, can make Tuna Helper without the RIDICULOUS sodium, saturated fat, and cholesterol content. Yay!

Ingredients

Ingredients (for 2)

4 oz Whole Wheat Pasta, any shape

2 oz shredded cheese, cheddar or pepper jack are great

1/4 – 1/2 cup milk

1 tbsp margarine or butter substitute

About 2 cups of broccoli

1 can of tuna, drained

Sprinkle of cheesy popcorn seasoning

Fresh cracked pepper to taste

1. Get your pasta cooking as directed but set timer to go off three minutes before pasta will be done.

2. Chop your broccoli, grate your cheese, open and drain your tuna into the cat’s bowl while the pasta is cooking.

Tuna Helper Makes Happy Cats!

Pudge Rodriguez likes the tuna water and Velma likes the tuna, so while Pudge is chowing down I slip Velma a few tuna flakes.

3. Add the chopped broccoli to the boiling pasta when there is three minutes left of cooking time.

4. When the pasta is cooked turn off the heat, drain the pasta and broccoli, and return to pan. Add 1/4 cup milk, butter substitute or margarine, grated cheese, tuna, and, that is right, a sprinkle of cheesy popcorn seasoning.

Popcorn Seasoning

You still need a tiny fake cheese taste! When I first started making it I stole fake cheese packages out of packaged cheesy potatoes or something, but when I stumbled upon this popcorn shaker I knew it would be perfect! You obviously don’t use a lot, this stuff is a heart attack in a bottle, but a 1/2 tablespoon goes a long way.

Ready to Rock

The heat from the pan, pasta, and broccoli melts the cheese as you stir. Add more milk if you want it a little creamier.

Serve and LOVE!

Dish it out, crack some pepper over it, and you are done!

I can’t help it. I love this stuff. This version is a ton healthier than using real Tuna Helper, with the whole wheat pasta and the broccoli and the (mostly) real cheese. It is quick and simple and you can do the dishes while you are cooking it! Which is something I always look for in a recipe: small amounts of down time that forces me to clean my kitchen.

Wall Organizer!

Sewing is way more high contact than knitting is! You forget that when you haven’t done it in a while. And, granted I did go to the gym  yesterday morning and ran a couple miles while watching college football pregame, I’m SORE this morning.

In my SHOULDERS. And arms. Because I haven’t sewn for a long time.

It’s not just sitting at the sewing machine and going at it. You are rolling around on the floor, cutting a ton of fabric, measuring your fabric out, getting up and down off the floor.

… ok yeah it’s pathetic that I’m sore from sewing.

But got so much done! I made my wall organizer! Kinda.

Bottom Row

It’s a little crooked. The pockets are a little crooked. The top was a little crooked and, thus, it hangs a little crooked. I have never made a sewing project without a pattern that you pin to the fabric and then cut out before. This pattern was like, cut two 21″ x 31″ rectangles. In hindsight, maybe I should have marked out the measurements instead of being too stubborn that thinking I could just wing it. Eh.

Top Row

I scrambled around my apartment to find things to put in the pockets for the picture, but I’m excited to actually put things in there that will come in handy. And it makes my work table look more like a work table. I love it, despite it’s crookedness.

I made a couple artistic changes to the original design – I made the rod casing the same color as the pockets instead of the same color as the background. I sewed around the entire wall hanging after turning it out to give it a more finished look. I finished it by seaming the rod casing and sewing it over the top of the purple pieces after I had turned it out so I wouldn’t have to hand sew.

Overall, the pattern was over written, and not even for clarity’s sake. I skipped an entire page of instructions that could have simple been described in one step.

But! I’ve got a wall organizer now!

Tara's Linings

Tara, who made my amazing sign, asked me to pay her in linings for all the cabled change purses she is making for holiday presents, so I knocked those out yesterday, too. Seven! It was a lot of cutting.

Toilet Lid Cover Elastic

I had a couple toilet lid covers to put elastic into. Rachael took my class and I said I would elastic her, and I finished my brother Adam’s house warming/Christmas present.

Go Blue

Though, naturally, Michigan was getting the crap beat out of them while I was working on this, which took the joy out of it for me. I see it’s cute, I see it turned out well, but it makes me want to punch someone. I don’t think Adam reads the blog so I’m not worried about him seeing it.

Rachael's Toilet Lid Cover!

Velma Approves

Velma loves my toilet lid cover so much! She is always sitting on it when I’m getting ready to leave in the morning. I couldn’t even slip these on my toilet lid without her jumping up and making herself comfortable.

Rachael’s lid looks great! And Velma obviously loves it.

Off to class this morning, then I’ve got to FINISH THOSE STUPID SLEEVES! And make that message board thing. And maybe my Halloween costume.

AND I’ve got a HUGE announcement coming tomorrow! Chicago knitters will be pleased as punch. I’m not going to say anything else because I don’t want to let the cat out of the bag. I’m bad enough with secrets as it is. Check back tomorrow!

Terror Kitties Strike Again

It has been a slow recovery from the weekend. PT and I got back into Chicago around 5 Sunday afternoon and we were both out for the count. We had sad tummies from all the eating/drinking and we were tired from all the lack of sleeping.

We had a little vacuuming to do before we could relax, however! Somehow Pudge Rodriguez and Velma found a bag of instant oatmeal, ripped the crap out of it, and framed that poor bear.

But, now it’s Wednesday.

And despite how it looks, I have been knitting!

… for myself.

Auto-Seam

Back and Sides

I feel very passionately that you need to be a selfish knitter to really love knitting. Knitters get a lot of shit for being selfish, but non knitters have NO IDEA how much time goes into knitting something.

I only knit for knitters, my family, and my very very closest friends. No, I’m not going to knit my friend’s boyfriend a pair of socks because that would take me like 16 hours. No, you can’t pay me to make you a pair of socks because if I charged you minimum wage for the time it takes me to knit a pair of socks it would cost you, in Illinois, $128. Yeah, they are sweet socks. But damn!

So, yeah, it’s the holiday knitting season and I’m knitting myself a sweater. What’s it to you?

I’m loving the Girl Friday sweater! The stitch pattern is great, though it did take me quite a while to memorize. The pattern blocks down flatter, and I’m really looking forward to seeing how it turns out.

The pattern calls for making the back and both front pieces, so when I cast on the sweater, which started at the bottom, I just figured out the ribbing and went from there. When I got to the lace pattern I had to do a little adjusting; a decrease there and an increase here, just so the pattern would be even over all three of the pieces and match up. It’s working out! I’m almost done with the back panel.

Glorified Necklas #2

And I haven’t ONLY been knitting that sweater. My mom demanded I knit her a Glorified Necklace, and I can’t blame her. Have you been noticing how much I wear this thing?! I ripped up another sleeve and am a few rows into the lace pattern. I love it! I just wish I had the yarn to make it in a different color. I feel like an OCD freak when I’m wearing the same project I’m working on.

I’m also working on PT’s Christmas Present, but I’ll get to that later.

Roasted Potatoes, Beans, and Veggies

Lentil Soup

We were putting off the grocery shopping because of our trip to Minnesota last weekend, but now we just don’t know what to do. We need to go grocery shopping, but we need a car sized grocery trip. With no car and no real solution to this problem, we are pretending it doesn’t exist! And you know how good I am at pantry eating.

A winter go to meal is roasted potatoes, beans, and veggies. It’s filling, costs like 3 pennies to make, and is delicious. We will recipe this one out soon.

And yesterday I made some lentil soup with pinto beans and carrots. I finished it off for lunch today! How much do I psychotically love lentils?

I stopped by Emilio’s Produce on the way home today for a 1/2 gallon of milk, a bag of onions, broccoli, and an impulse buy – an avocado. That should get us to the weekend.

… SPEAKING OF THE WEEKEND! YARNCON! It’s Saturday! Come say hi to me and my hot sign.

I had every intention of making Hungry Girl’s Sassy Salsa Pumpkin Soup last night. My mom has made and loves this soup, my friend Liz sent me the recipe last week talking about how amazing it is. PT had a long and ridiculous week at work, so I was going to be a good girlfriend and make him some focaccia, which is quickly becoming our favorite bread.

Not a Lot of Trunk Space

But there is a shortage of canned pumpkin. I guess the crop last year was much smaller than usual, and I couldn’t find it anywhere. Pumpkin pie mix? Yes. Pumpkin? No. I went to Target, CVS, Strack and Van Til, and Walgreens and there was no canned pumpkin.

So I got a pumpkin! It’s pumpkin season, they are everywhere, this one cost $1.35, which is probably less than a can of pumpkin would cost me. The problem, of course, is I also needed milk, and my bike doesn’t have a lot of trunk space, so it was a slow trip home.

(See the tape recorder in there, too? I’ve got to transcribe an interview this weekend for Grocer Gram. And my Glorified Necklace! Which I take everywhere.)

I love pumpkin soup made with a pumpkin, so I wasn’t sorry to see that my easy pumpkin soup was going to have to be traded in for a much more complicated one. Because this recipe is worth it.

The Ultimate Vegetarian Cookbook

I made this soup a million times last fall and have perfected the recipe. It is based on the Pumpkin recipe in The Ultimate Vegetarian Cookbook by Roz Denny I found at a thrift store last summer and love love love. The Pumpkin recipe, though, is a PAIN IN THE ASS. I did it exactly like how it tells me to in the cookbook only once, because getting the pumpkin flesh out without chopping up the pumpkin is only something I would do for a very special occasion. A Friday night is not that occasion.

Post Baking

Dead Pumpkin

Baking, slicing, skinning, and chopping up a pumpkin is a messy business. But I would do it again. And again. And am going to do it again and again. Because there is nothing like freshly baked pumpkin soup.

Without further ado, my pumpkin soup recipe:

Pumpkin Soup, With A Pumpkin

Serves 4 Really Hungry People

Ingredients:

1/2 a pie pumpkin

1 onion, sliced

Oil; veggie, canola, olive, whatever you’ve got

1 14 oz can of tomatoes; diced or stewed, doesn’t matter

1 cup whole wheat pasta, any shape

2 cups veggie stock

2 cloves of garlic. diced

Vegetables; again, whatever you’ve got! Zucchini, yellow squash, mushrooms, carrots, celery, broccoli, corn, and any combination, totaling about 4 cups

Beans (optional) – half a can, or about a cup, add a lot to the soup

Salt, pepper, ginger to taste

Directions:

1. Move your oven rack to the lowest level and preheat oven to 350. Cut off the top of your pumpkin just like you would if you were making a jack-o-lantern, and scoop out the seeds and the loose gunk. No need to clean it too much; you are slicing this baby open soon, so that will make it a lot easier.

2. Bake pumpkin with the lid on for 45 minutes. Take the top off and let it cool until you can handle it. Skin it and chop it up! I think it’s easiest to cut the pumpkin into 4ths, skin it, and then cut it into chunks. Save half of it – it will stay good in your fridge for like 2 weeks.

3. In a big soup pot, saute onion and pumpkin on medium heat in oil till onion is cooked, about 10 minutes.

4. Add veggies and cook for about 5 minutes, or longer, depending on your veggies. Stir in tomatoes, stock, pasta, beans if you so choose, and seasonings. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and let simmer 10 minutes.

5. Serve! Add more seasonings if necessary – this soup is great with lots of fresh ground pepper.

Goddamn!

Last night I made it with two carrots, half a yellow squash, and the left over beans from burritos the other night. It made me wish I had pinto beans on hand because pinto beans are so good in this soup! But mine were all dried. Next time!

Focaccia!

The focaccia turned out really well, though a little dense because of the humidity yesterday. It just made it crispier, which is always welcomed.

Terror Kitties

They kitties were waiting at the table, wondering what was taking so long for their dinners! PT hardly had the patience to let me take this picture, though, our dinner smelled so good!