Whenever I leave Chicago it becomes very very evident exactly how big a hipster I am. I’m such a standard order hipster in this city that I don’t even notice. (You know, thrift store/handmade clothes, pixie hair cut, affinity for sad bastard music, over-arty education, vegetarian. Bike user. Poor. Arty job… that might be it.)

But, eventually you have to leave Chicago and notice everyone else wears pants that no one else has ever owned. Everyone wears the same pair, actually. And the same tshirts that tell people which stores they bought the tshirts from (again, first owner). And it’s weird that I wear green jeans and a shirt I made out of a pillowcase.

I’m icing my shin right now because I tried to jump the Detroit People Mover turnstile post double header last night and failed. It hurts, and it hurt a lot when it happened but no one knew because when you get hit by a pitch you can’t rub it. You smile because you got a base, and you can ice it later.

Where, Exactly?

Normal: $9.50 half price Monday WAY upper reserved/bleacher seats where Bobby Jenks doesn’t look ogre-sized.

Not Normal: Starting the day in a fancy private bar INSIDE Comerica Park where the people buy better seats than I’ve ever dreamed of but don’t sit in them because they sit in the air conditioned bar, watching a game happening 100 feet away on TVs the size of my apartment. Brought to you by…

The Republican

He pays that light to follow him around.

Three Loves

I haven’t been to Detroit in 6 years. I haven’t been to Comerica Park since it opened. I think I giggled for 20 minutes straight, starting the moment I saw it for the first time and ending when The Republican hit me in the face. He is allergic to giggles.

It was the perfect day! It was sunny and warm with a breeze. It was the day you picture when you think about going to a baseball game.

Even The Republican, once or twice, stopped with the blackberry and made inaccurate statements!

“We are going to get swept today.” (WE swept THEM)

“Bonine is going to get lit up today.” (6 innings, 3 ER, 4 K)

“Dusty Ryan makes me miss Dane Sardinha.” (CLOSE (Dane is B.A.D.), but he did hit pivotal RBI single in game 2)

“It’s hot.” (It was 79)

In a Nutshell

I had a great time! It was my second double header of the season, which I didn’t even think was possible. The Tigers rocked it out and won both games and I didn’t get sunburned or killed! My shin is purple, but in a cute way, and numb right now so I don’t even really mind that it is twice the size of my other leg.

Detroit, though, down by the park, is like Wrigley meets the Gold Coast, with fat people. And Pabst was $3! What respectable hipster would pay $3 for a Pabst? In MICHIGAN! Where no one lives! I should have stopped trying to look cool and ordered something I could taste.

Related Sweatshop Love:

• July 23, 2009 -- Re-Flee (0)
• June 6, 2009 -- The Detroit Saviors: featuring Angelina’s Boobs (0)
• August 18, 2010 -- 10 Reasons I Hate/Am Ok With the Yankees (3)
• October 6, 2009 -- Relationship Fail (0)