The Sweatshop of Lovers Blog

On August 12th I published a funny little blog post about the stupid things I’ve seen people wearing around Brooklyn since I’ve been here titled Chicago Hipsters Vs Brooklyn Hipsters. I’ve had this blog since February of 2009  and never have I gotten as much attention for anything I’ve written.

On the morning of the 13th Gapers Block put it on their front page, and in the afternoon it found it’s way onto Windy Citizen. That day I had 2,800 views, twice as many as my previous busiest day when I released my Summer Ebook.

It continued to get major play on twitter and facebook all weekend and on Monday the 16th the Chicago Reader picked it up. This past Friday it was Windy Citizen’s #1 most read story, so it got emailed out to their mailing list, me included, resulting in my second busiest blog day to date.

Since August 13th I’ve gotten 41 new twitter followers and The Sweatshop Facebook Fan Page has gotten 19 new fans.

Needless to say I was absolutely floored by the response to this post. I loved writing it and searching for pictures of the stupid outfits I was seeing around town and I spend really long time on it to make it just right. But I love writing every post I write and spend a really long time on every post to make it just right. I do this for free, for me and The Sweatshop, so if I didn’t love it I wouldn’t do it.

With all the readers, though, came some laughably negative comments, including a few extended fights between New Yorkers and Chicagoans about pizza.

A few of these comments went as far as to call me a stupid, boring asshole.

I don’t take any of these comments to heart and they don’t bother me in the least. I’m not stupid. And if I were boring you wouldn’t be reading much less leaving heated comments. And I’m not an asshole. I’m FUNNY! Sometimes, if you aren’t very smart, it is hard to tell the difference. It’s sad that a silly post about ankle collar sandals can get people as angry as it did, and that people put so much of their energy toward leaving anonymous angry comments on a random blog about knitting.

One of these negative comments did get me thinking, though. One woman asked, ‘Who do you think you are?’ before telling me I had no right to criticize everyone I see.

(Which, by the way, is ridiculous. America + Internet = Hypercritical Free-For-All, people! This is not new information.)

So who do I think I am?

I’m nobody. And neither are you. I’m a person who wrote a blog about stupid pants. I shouldn’t matter enough to you for you to call me an asshole anymore than you matter to me for calling me one.

I’m nobody. My opinion doesn’t matter. If you are sitting at a coffee shop wearing diaper harem shorts and a bra reading my post about how you are dressed like an idiot, you can easily do some googling and find another post about how you are dressed awesomely written by another nobody whose opinion doesn’t matter.

Who sounds like the bigger asshole? The person who writes about how stupid it is to wear shorts that look like a diaper or the person who anonymously calls a stranger an asshole for writing about how stupid it is to wear shorts that look like a diaper?

You think it’s her? Fine! You think it’s me? Fine! Unless you are my mom, who left this comment…

Allyson- I should not have read this at work…people hear me laughing and I am the only one in the room! One of the most enjoyable things you have written. Love you. Your Mommy

… I don’t care if you think I’m an asshole.

So who do I think I am? I’m me, ok?! Jeez.

There are a whole lot of words out there to read and I’m honored that so many people take the time to read mine, whether they think I’m an asshole or not.

Without getting into the exact definition of what  hipster is, and assuming that pretty much anyone between the ages of 18-40 living in Chicago and Brooklyn is a hipster, I bring to you seven specific terrible hipster fashion observations I’ve made after living in Chicago for seven years and Brooklyn this week.

Please understand, also, that based on these very liberal perimeters I am a Chicago hipster through and through. I love us hipsters, however fashionably misguided.

1. Hipster Boys are Generally the Same Everywhere, except for

a. Shorts

Gossip Girl Shorts Douche

You will never see a respectable Chicago hipster in short plaid shorts. Or, god forbid, SHORT SHORTS. I don’t have the stomach to post a picture of the short short clad hipster men rolling around Williamsburg. It’s not that hot, y’all. I can see your balls.

b. Newsboy Pants

Billabong Meets Skinny Jeans

It’s like male Brooklyn hipsters decided skinny girl jeans were cool around their ankles, but their junk needed A LOT more room. These pants are sometimes jean, sometimes like sweatpants, sometimes (god help us) PLAID, but always ugly. They are belted high. No one in Chicago will ever wear these, thank you very much.

2. While Female Chicago Hipsters Try to Look Attractive, Female Brooklyn Hipsters Try to Look as Unattractive as Possible.

Tiny Shorts, Big Shirt

Big Top Tiny Shorts

Every girl in Brooklyn looks like this. Or, more accurately, this, plus 20-60 pounds. These twig girls don’t look good in this. I weigh 134 pounds at 5′ 6 1/2″ and I wouldn’t look good in this.

Hipsters in Chicago love high waisted skirts and vintage dresses. We like being cute. Hipsters in Brooklyn love looking like they are wearing underwear and their fat father’s dirty t-shirts.

High Waisted Big Skirt, Tiny Top

Brooklyn Hipsters: If you flip it and reverse it, and put this big on the bottom and the tiny on the top, it works MUCH BETTER! Every girl in Chicago looks like this. Because it’s cute.

3. Hipsters in Brooklyn are VERY worried about ankle safety.

Ankle. Collar. Sandals. <- Not my words

I’ve seen these in Chicago worn by fancy hipsters, yes. In Brooklyn EVERY hipster wears these.

I don’t think I could wear anything indicating my feet need a collar. Because my feet don’t need a collar.

Diaper Shorts and Ankle Collar Sandals

Ignore the diaper shorts for now. ::shudder:: Just… ignore this girl totally. We’ll come back to her. Often. Somebody explain to me how these sandals are cute. They cut your legs off in the WORST place, making you look short. If it’s cold enough that you want your ankles covered, wear boots. Or socks! If it’s hot enough that you need your entire food exposed, you don’t…

Never mind. Just. Forget it. I’m chalking this one up to woman can’t be explained and moving on.

4. Female Brooklyn Hipsters LOVE Airing Out Their Junk.

a. The Harem Pant

Just Your Typical Harem Pants

So you look the same coming and going! These, along with the ankle collar sandals, are in Chicago but worn by fancy hipsters and fancy people. Which, almost makes it worse.

Everyone here wears these! Fancy rich people, hipsters, and tourists. I’ve seen more harem pants this week in NYC than in the entirety of the rest of life.

b. The Harem Short

Harem/Diaper Shorts

(Also See Above Ankle Collar Picture)

I didn’t even know these existed before coming to Brooklyn. I have one statement: IF IT MAKES THE 80 POUND MODEL LOOK LIKE SHE’S WEARING A DIAPER, JUST IMAGINE WHAT IT WILL DO FOR YOU! Again, have never seen these in Chicago. And believe me, I would have noticed.

c. The Granny Harem Pant

Wide Leg Granny Harem Pant

Because harem pants aren’t big enough! These are everywhere in Brooklyn.

Imagine this pant as a skirt. Cute, right? Still a little heavy, but wearable. But this is not a skirt. This is pants. This. Is pants. Only in Brooklyn. And on Disney’s Aladdin.

d. The Dress Harem Pant

Dress Up Harem Pant

How can you wear sweat pants on a date or in the office? Call them DRESS HAREM PANTS. Again, all over NYC. Fancy hipsters, bum hipsters, fancy NYC ladies.

See that look on her face? That is the same look I have on my face looking at this picture! Camaraderie.

e. The Military Style Harem Pant

Military Style Harem Pant

Because your hips can never get enough room. .. ? What?! You look like Napoleon. Or a German WWI soldier. In a bad way. Again, never in Chicago. Unless we are participating in some kind of battle reenactment.

5. Chicago Hipsters Love Rompers! Not So Much in Brooklyn.

Kinda Cute Purple Romper

I’m not big into rompers but they are on every hipster in Chicago. Maybe Brooklyn already went through their romper stage and every hipster here is over them, but I haven’t seen a single romper around these parts.

To this I’m going to have to say point to Chicago. If I was forced by gunpoint to wear a romper or harem pants I would chose the romper. Please don’t tell anyone I wouldn’t choose death.

6. Hipsters Psychotically Love Fedora Style Hats in Brooklyn.

Hipster Fedora Hat

Every hipster in Brooklyn owns this hat. You can see Ed Westwick in the top picture wearing one, and Diaper Harem Pant with Ankle Collar Sandal’s girl has one on, too.

I have so many other beefs with Brooklyn hipsters that I’m going to let this one slide. They are fine, as far as hats go, and I can see Chicago hipsters embracing this hat, too.

7. Brooklyn Hipsters Love Bras/Boobs

Loose Oversized Tank with Bra

Maybe it’s just because it’s super hot here now, but I’ve seen so many bras this week! Very loose tank tops worn over short shorts or leggings and a bra is real big in Brooklyn. Call it my Midwestern sensibilities, but I’m positive tank tops in your size work just the same as really big tank tops.

Chicago hipsters show their bras off, too. But usually it’s a shoulder strap here, a back strap there, never full on cup showing in the armhole of your tank top. Chicago hipsters might run into their mothers, or bosses. Or, neighbors. Or brothers. Or an old college professor. A good Midwesterner doesn’t want strangers seeing their bra! It’s inappropriate!

The major difference here is simple: Chicago hipsters want to be cute. We are freaking cutesy, many times to a fault. Like, how are you going to explain that hamster tattoo to your grandkids? Where Chicago hipsters over-cute, Brooklyn hipsters under-cute. It’s like everyone in Brooklyn wears costumes for my amusement. And they are in a costume contest to see who can look the worst. And they are all winning.

I could, and probably will, write about how cute everyone is here, too. This is a summary of the worst Brooklyn hipsters have to offer. There is a lot of it. And I’m enjoying every minute of it.

(Yikes. What a title. The (But Fun!) I threw in there doesn’t even really jazz it up. An exclamation point just looked stupid. No one would exclaim after saying that.)

I’m Michigan bound today! My Amtrak (kill me) to Holland leaves at 5:20 and I’ll be rolling in around 9:30pm. My mom called me yesterday to alert me that Edy’s is having a huge sale and to ask what flavors of ice cream she should pick up.

So yes, it’s going to be an awesome stay in the mitt.

I’ve been chatting to you lately about my pretty minimalist lifestyle – my spending less lets you live happily making less philosophy -  so I wanted to break down my pattern sales for those of you who might be curious about it. I know I was before I started trying to sell my patterns!

I went into producing this ebook with no expectations whatsoever. I know The Sweatshop will not make me a millionaire and I don’t want it to. I love it and it’s a bonus that I’m starting to be able to live off my work. This was my first try, my first try of many!, and the more patterns I write the more people I reach the more money I make from doing what I love. At least that is the plan.

So! The Summer Tour of Knitting Patterns Ebook went on pre-sale May 31st to a select group of my long term knitting students and supporters for a discounted rate of $12. Then it went public on June 1st for $18. On July 1st I released the patterns individually and their cost ranged from $2-5.50.

After two months of availability, here are my sales numbers:

Ebook Pre-Sale = 15 copies at $12 = $180

Ebook Sales at Full Price = 11 copies at $18 = $198

Individual Sales = $49.50

Individual Sales includes 6 copies of the Twin Cities Headband, 4 copies of Baby Sweater Buffet, 1 copy of Caitlin’s Cardi, 1 copy of Traverse City Tube Top, and 1 copy of The Loop Entrelac Tank.

I’ve made $437.50 on this project, and counting. I would absolutely call that a success!

Larger successes:

1. There has only been one mistake found and reported back to me and it wasn’t even an error in a pattern portion of the ebook.

2. Knitters that I don’t know are out there knitting what I’ve designed! Reading my words and making things that wouldn’t exist with out me. That blows my mind.

3. I have relationships with knitters now that I would never know if I didn’t write these patterns. They found one of my patterns, they liked it enough to purchase it, they knit it, they shared that process through the magic of the internet, and now we are part of each others lives.

The bottom line is that I had no expectations going in, so sales exceeded my expectations. But more than that is the knitting community’s reception of my patterns exceeded my expectations. I’m addicted to writing patterns that people want to knit. I want to see their pictures and read their thoughts! I love it.

So I’ve got to use this information to help me write better patterns in the future. This was my first try, and I’m going to make each next product better and better, which should lead to more sales and views and interest and, above all, more people knitting my designs.

I’m leaving in a few hours for a 5 week working vacation because of you! You motivate me to be better and better at what I love doing, which is a solid equation if you ask me.

A Very Tiny Business is a business that runs with only a couple people, or only one person in this case, has a super low to nonexistent overhead and mostly doesn’t make very much money. They can! But generally don’t.

The Sweatshop of Love is a great example of a Very Tiny Business. It’s a one woman show (me!) and I make WELL well WELL well WELL below the poverty level.

I talked a bit about my lifestyle when I paid off my student loans in May. I don’t spend a lot of money so I don’t have to make a lot of money. I tried that whole corporate thing and it just isn’t for me. Now I work a part time freelance admin job where I make between $800-1,000 a month. My income from The Sweatshop, teaching classes and selling kits and patterns and completing custom orders, varies greatly from month to month. I’d say on average I make between $300-700 per month from The Sweatshop.

My expenses, however, are minimal. My personal monthly expenses (rent and utilities, phone) are around $450 per month. Add $75 for groceries and $100 for going out to dinner and drinks a couple times a month, and I spend between $600-700 a month to live.

I live below the poverty line and I’m saving money because I don’t have a car, don’t buy myself bullshit I don’t need, make most of my own food, pack my lunch, and bike myself around.

Because I work mostly for myself and live such a thrifty lifestyle I can take my business wherever I want to go. And this summer I’m going all over!

From July 30-Aug 4th I’ll be hanging in Allendale MI with my new nephew I haven’t met yet!

From Aug 4th-Aug 29th I’ll be in NYC for the first time ever hanging with PT and knitting my little fingers off for my fall class schedule and winter ebook.

From Aug 29th-Sept 2nd I’ll be in Minnesota with PT for the MINNESOTA STATE FAIR!

On Sept 2nd PT and I will be renting a car and driving from Minneapolis to Allendale. That is 11 hours, baby. Midweastern road trip!

Sept 6th I’ll be heading back to Chicago to get ready for Renegade on Sept 11th and 12th.

Pretty sweet, right?

Who takes 6 weeks off work to travel around? No one. But who travels around bringing their work with them? Me!

Stay tuned. I’ve got LOTS planned for New York City.

I mailed a huge check to the US Department of Education Friday, paying off my last student loan. Which means that I am completely debt free. No loans. No credit card debt. Nothing.

I paid for 8 of the 9 semesters it took me to graduate myself with loans. My mom and grandparents helped me out a long the way, and my mom paid the interest on my loans while I was in school, but the majority of that cost was all on me.

I worked in corporate real estate right out of college and made a huge salary I hardly spent. At the time I wanted to save up as much money as I could so I could open a yarn shop, and over the 2 years I worked there I saved around $36,000. I invested a lot of it, I put the rest in a money market account, and before the recession I was making more money off that money than the cost of my loan payments.

But when interest rates went down and you couldn’t find a good short term CD to save your life, and when I realized opening a yarn store wasn’t part of my life’s goals anymore, I started paying off my loans.

$12,000 last year. And $17,000 on Friday.

So here I am, at 26, owing no one in the world any money. Not my landlord, not my mom, not the US Department of Education, not any credit card company, not AT&T. I went to college and paid for the majority of it myself. I’ve had at least one job since I was 15 years old. I work hard at what I love, and I’m really proud of myself for all I’ve accomplished so far in my life.

But it’s kind of terrifying! Like I don’t exist. It’s so unnatural for someone to not be in debt that I feel uncomfortable. I should be expecting a call from Obama asking me to buy a car or something. But shouldn’t everyone’s goal to be debt free? Shouldn’t I be pumped instead of feeling like I’m going to be in trouble? Has American excess been embedded so deeply into my brain at even without practicing it it’s part of my life?

Fried Plantains, Veggie Burrito, Egg Sandwich, Rice

I’m sitting in a very empty apartment right now. It is only slightly emptier physically – I’ve lived here for over four years if I can even wrap my brain around that, and PT had only lived here for about 10 months, so most of the things are mine and still here. But I’m sitting in PT’s spot on the couch just so there is something in it. The bed is HUGE with just me, Velma, and Pudge. I’m not crashing into someone else cooking in the kitchen.

I’m unshowered, because what is the point? I’m wearing super ratty underwear, because what is the point? I’m baking bread – small loaf. I’m making granola bars – mostly freezer bound. I cleaned the cat hair off the rug this morning – PT’s job. There are pictures of us everywhere that I just don’t know what to do with.

My freshmen year of college was full of long distance relationship drama. It seemed like everyone I met had one, including me, and eventually they all failed. As far as I know. I moved to Chicago after one year so I didn’t get all the follow up stories. But there was always someone screaming on the phone, someone crying in the bathroom, someone getting drunk and cheating on their boyfriend in California, someone carrying their room phone around with them because their boyfriend was supposed to call them four hours ago and he must be dead.

White Whine Pasta with Mushrooms and Broccoli

Sure, we were 18. We were living on our own for the first time. We were in relationships with the first boys we ever kissed. Shit is bound to happen. My own freshmen long distance relationship fell apart before October.

I like to think that a lot has changed in 8 years. Maturity, self control, smart decision making, knowing what’s important: all of these things should have grown exponentially in these early 20s years.

PT as Frog

But who knows. I have a couple girlfriends in long distance relationships now; Chicago/London and Chicago/Spain. Which sounds a hell of a lot more challenging than Chicago/NYC. Technology makes it easy to communicate constantly with anyone willing.

It’s funny and fitting that most of the pictures from this past week with PT are of food. We had a seriously delicious lunch at Irazu – the site for many past PT/Allyson meals. We made lots of veggie pasta. And tuna helper.

Officially single but fielding/making phone calls and texts and video chats and gchats galore, who knows what the right answer is. If it’s meant to be it will happen. If it isn’t it won’t.

In the mean time I’m going to work like a crazy person. I’ve got all this room and time now magically. Work, work, work.

God decided that with the impending PT move he wanted me to win a couple sweet blog giveaways as an I’m sorry for giving me such a hard time so far this year.

Knits Three Ways

From the delightful Alice over at The Yarn Panda I won this knitting pattern book, Knits Three Ways by Melissa Matthay.

Knit Kimono - Cute!

There are some cute patterns in this book, like this knit kimono. The idea is to take a simple sweater pattern and change it up with different yarns to knit it three different ways. It’s a good book for a beginner, and I’m happy to have it for my students, but if you’ve got a couple sweaters under your belt it’s pretty redundant. We were looking at it in Sweater Club last night and having fun imagining the different styling of some of the frilly sweaters! It’s a great addition to my pattern book collection. Thanks Alice!

EatSmart Digital Food Scale

Then over at fANNEtastic Food, Anne had a giveaway for this digital food scale that I was so pumped to win because I’ve always wanted one!

Scale in Action!

Pudge was all over it when I pulled it out this morning. Well, she was probably just all over the cutie I was weighing, for it’s roll-ability and toy-like nature. Bygones.

Thanks so much, ladies! You made my crappy week way less crappy.

And both of these women have really fun twitters, too: Anne’s here and Alice’s here.

Designer Victoria Smith came up with a great way to discover new blogs and see what is inspiring people all over the blog world with Blog it Forward – a chain of blogs all talking about what inspires them as designers.

What is fun about being a knitter is you can find inspiration in so many different design areas. From fashion to textiles to home goods to yarn to necessity.

A Trip to KnitPicks.com

A Flip Through Vogue Knitting Magazine

Pretty Dresses, like Nadinoo's

Ravelry

Hot Ladies Rocking DIY

Pretty Much Anything Zooey Deschanel Does

Yarn and pretty dresses. That is Allyson in a nutshell. And I’m cool with it. What inspires you?

And please zip on over to The Sweetest Occasion tomorrow to see what inspires her.

Thanks to everyone who entered my Red Gold Tomatoes Giveaway! Y’all really wanted that huge can of goodies! It was really fun reading all your silly comments here, and on facebook and twitter.

I’m happy to say the winners are:

Lynn at The Actor’s Diet

Becca at The Nutmeg Knitter

How fitting it is that a food blog writer AND a knitter win!

Thanks again to everyone who entered and I look forward to giving out more huge cans of stuff soon!

Huge Can of Tomato-y Goodness

Make sure you zip over here and enter to win this huge can of tomato-y goodness from Red Gold Tomatoes! I’m picking both winners tonight and will announce them tomorrow.