The Sweatshop of Lovers Blog

Everyone has people in their lives that rub them the wrong way. I have football. As a Detroit Lions fan and a University of Michigan fan, I’ve had to find ways to entertain myself these last few seasons. I’ve done that by channeling my hatred and focusing it on three people.

While there are many, many, many, many people in football that I don’t like and would easily punch in the face if given a chance (Philip Rivers, Charlie Weis, Rich Rodriguez, Matt Hasselbeck, to name a few), these three men send me into a rage every time I see their barf faces.

In no particular order.

Jay Cutler

Sure, I hated Jay Cutler before he came to Chicago. I mean, just look at his stupid face! When he and Philip Rivers had that feud where they just grabbed their crotches towards each other during games? Watching them play was like watching Ohio State and Michigan State: Stadium blow up! Stadium blow up!

But my super hatred started when he came to Chicago and this whole city thought it was the second coming. And I would stare at these boys blankly and say things like, ‘The Bears have no wide receivers and no running game. And no offensive line. Jesus could actually be your quarterback and it wouldn’t matter.’ But they just laughed, reminded me of my Lions allegiance, indicating I couldn’t know anything about football.

So yeah, I’m a Lions fan. But y’all are stupid! 21 interceptions, 6 in the red zone, a $20,000 fine for unsportsmanlike conduct, and two of your four wins were because of field goals missed by the other team.

When Jay Cutler is shown after an incomplete pass I turn on my whiniest voice and screech, ‘GUYS!! Catch my BALLS!’ and PT and I giggle.

Matt Millen

I. Could barely. Google image. Search Matt Millen. Without having a seizure.

Blah blah he is an idiot and took a bad team and made them the worst team in the history of football. That team happened to be my team. He took a city of out of work people and gave them something to be collectively pissed about; distracting them from crippling depression and the fact that Detroit will be a ghost town in my lifetime. The STATE OF MICHIGAN chose to hate this man more than everything else going on in Michigan, including an almost 15% unemployment rate.

So yeah, I hated Matt Millen. But then ABC decided he would make an awesome college football announcer, and I lost it. Because if you suck at your job more than anyone has ever sucked at their job in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD, should you still be considered an expert in the field? He can have no idea what he is talking about, because if he does know anything about football he surely wasn’t showing up to work in Detroit.

The University of Michigan is bad. I accept that. What I can’t accept is MATT MILLEN being let into Michigan to do the play by play! I have to watch my team lose while listening to that man’s voice tell me why my team is losing. Really?! Really, Matt Millen?! YOU know what is wrong with my team? REALLY?! Please, keep telling me what we need to do to win games. Because, seriously, you must know something that I don’t. Being the ex-president of the WORST TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF FOOTBALL!

Jimmy Clausen

(It is very bad when I need to find a picture of Jimmy Clausen to calm myself down.)

My hatred of Jimmy Clausen started in the first moment I saw him. It was his first press conference as the starting quarterback for Notre Dame, which he showed up to in a limo, when someone asked him how his team was going to do that year. He told them triumphantly that they were going to win all of their remaining games. Well, he didn’t say ‘remaining’ – that word has a lot of syllables. Granted, he had never lost a football game before coming to Notre Dame, so maybe he didn’t realize what losing was.

In any case, he lost 5 of his first 6 starts and looked like a fool and grew his hair out long and wouldn’t shut up. Your team sucks, Jimmy! You lost to NAVY twice! Shut your stupid face.

And look at this!

Embarrassing.

Dude. You play FOOTBALL. Have some respect for the game.

And amid rumors that the Cleveland Browns have been talking to him to join their storied franchise, along with Notre Dame’s last dbag QB Brady Quinn…

Who Names Their Kid Brady?!

… I couldn’t help but get a little excited. Think of what a disaster that will be! Joint press conferences with more hair product than a Victoria Secret Fashion Show!

That is what football is all about.

Holy Grocery Shopping!

Upon arriving back in Chicago from my week long Michigan hiatus, it appeared to me that I had bought out the entirety of West Michigan. PT and I buy all of our groceries at one time, having no car, but the state of our kitchen table yesterday was out of control.

$24 Microwave!

In addition to the beets I picked up Black Friday, I also snagged this handsome microwave that tells the time even when you use the timer! Holy technology!

$13 Sheets!

AND I got these flannel sheets for crazy cheap, too. Velma and Pudge Rodriguez approved and made it very hard to make the bed at the same time.

Banana Pepper, Caramelized Onion, and Pineapple Pizza

Sunday also reprized Pizza Sunday! Despite all the groceries we bought we are seriously lacking some fresh vegetables, so we had to dig around the pantry for pizza toppings.

Mark and PT are PUMPED

Mark and PT were in football/pizza heaven, with a Minnesota Vikings victory over the Bears and amazing, bacon topped pizzas.

Mark+Pudge=LOVE

Then Pudge snuggled up! Pudge is in love with Mark, who is a little allergic to kitty lovin’. So tragic!

Naturally as soon as I had a moment to let all that lack of sleeping and eating only pie catch up to me I was down for the count! My body rejected movement of any kind yesterday and I’m pretty sure I slept 18 of the last 24 hours. Just sitting up at my desk right now is taking a lot out of me! Coming back from that Eastern time zone is sure rough.

Wall Organizer!

Sewing is way more high contact than knitting is! You forget that when you haven’t done it in a while. And, granted I did go to the gym  yesterday morning and ran a couple miles while watching college football pregame, I’m SORE this morning.

In my SHOULDERS. And arms. Because I haven’t sewn for a long time.

It’s not just sitting at the sewing machine and going at it. You are rolling around on the floor, cutting a ton of fabric, measuring your fabric out, getting up and down off the floor.

… ok yeah it’s pathetic that I’m sore from sewing.

But got so much done! I made my wall organizer! Kinda.

Bottom Row

It’s a little crooked. The pockets are a little crooked. The top was a little crooked and, thus, it hangs a little crooked. I have never made a sewing project without a pattern that you pin to the fabric and then cut out before. This pattern was like, cut two 21″ x 31″ rectangles. In hindsight, maybe I should have marked out the measurements instead of being too stubborn that thinking I could just wing it. Eh.

Top Row

I scrambled around my apartment to find things to put in the pockets for the picture, but I’m excited to actually put things in there that will come in handy. And it makes my work table look more like a work table. I love it, despite it’s crookedness.

I made a couple artistic changes to the original design – I made the rod casing the same color as the pockets instead of the same color as the background. I sewed around the entire wall hanging after turning it out to give it a more finished look. I finished it by seaming the rod casing and sewing it over the top of the purple pieces after I had turned it out so I wouldn’t have to hand sew.

Overall, the pattern was over written, and not even for clarity’s sake. I skipped an entire page of instructions that could have simple been described in one step.

But! I’ve got a wall organizer now!

Tara's Linings

Tara, who made my amazing sign, asked me to pay her in linings for all the cabled change purses she is making for holiday presents, so I knocked those out yesterday, too. Seven! It was a lot of cutting.

Toilet Lid Cover Elastic

I had a couple toilet lid covers to put elastic into. Rachael took my class and I said I would elastic her, and I finished my brother Adam’s house warming/Christmas present.

Go Blue

Though, naturally, Michigan was getting the crap beat out of them while I was working on this, which took the joy out of it for me. I see it’s cute, I see it turned out well, but it makes me want to punch someone. I don’t think Adam reads the blog so I’m not worried about him seeing it.

Rachael's Toilet Lid Cover!

Velma Approves

Velma loves my toilet lid cover so much! She is always sitting on it when I’m getting ready to leave in the morning. I couldn’t even slip these on my toilet lid without her jumping up and making herself comfortable.

Rachael’s lid looks great! And Velma obviously loves it.

Off to class this morning, then I’ve got to FINISH THOSE STUPID SLEEVES! And make that message board thing. And maybe my Halloween costume.

AND I’ve got a HUGE announcement coming tomorrow! Chicago knitters will be pleased as punch. I’m not going to say anything else because I don’t want to let the cat out of the bag. I’m bad enough with secrets as it is. Check back tomorrow!

Black Bean Pizza!

Every football Sunday PT and I make a pizza. We missed out on last week because we were dead tired from our trip to Minnesota, so we knew that this week’s football pizza had to be amazing.

Enter the black bean pizza! I’ve made this a few times in my pre-PT life but hadn’t pulled it out for him yet. It’s probably the easiest football pizza we’ve made this season – you let the crust rise for about half a game, roll it out and bake just the crust while you make the topping on the stove.

A couple chopped onions, some garlic, a can of Mexican stewed tomatoes and two cups of black beans. Boil off the water, dump on the crust, sprinkle with cheese and bake for a few more minutes.

Two Pieces, Please!

What is nice about this pizza is that it is so filling! All those beans make it nearly impossible to eat more than two pieces. So we ate two for lunch and two for dinner! (Unlike all other weeks when we just ate the entire pizza for lunch. Don’t judge.)

PT, Pre-Paint

We also tackled a project that has been on the back burner for a few weeks: painting our new room! Our roommate moved out on the first, opening up a room in our apartment for… watching football in. We have been lovingly referring to it as ‘the football room’, but I’ll be moving my work table in there and pulling out a ton of craft supplies I’ve needed to hide away while we had a roommate.

PT Working Hard

We picked out this paint color based on the name: Dutch Maid. I don’t know how people stand in front of those paint chips in the store and rationally pick out a color they think will be exactly what they are looking for. So we thought blue and thought ‘Dutch’ was a sign. I’m Dutch! The room is Dutch! (The paint was even on sale! How Dutch!)

Step One: Done!

It was dark by the time we finished painting, so we couldn’t see the true color in natural light. This morning, though, wow! I’m in love with it. It’s so bright and pretty and kinda looks like Honolulu Blue. Won’t PT be surprised when the Barry Sanders Fathead comes in the mail!

Chris and Anne Getting Married

I’m not very good at being a girl on the outside, with the sports and the talking about poop a lot,

(

Bride and Groom Poos

)

but there is some switch in my brain that girls-out at weddings. I cry like I’m watching The Biggest Loser! Luckily for me Saturday did have a couple moments where I could swear and text about football so I didn’t give myself away.

Just Like Being in West Michigan!

Albino Squirrel!

The wedding was beautiful and very sweet and as distantly involved as I was in relation to everyone else, I was truly honored to get as close as I did.

Tower O' Cupcakes

Gnome Chris and Anne

The reception was held upstairs at The Happy Gnome in St Paul, so there were gnomes on the tables and the bride and groom gnomes on the top of the cupcake tower.

Cupcake tower of amazing cupcakes! I might have eaten 12 of them, but not until after dinner.

Haley Sneaks Some Chicken

PT Eats Steak

My Dinner

The cupcakes looking at us (and all the drinking) made everyone, well, at least me, very anxious for dinner. And PT gave me a little sneak peak at the dinner menu, so I was ready to eat as soon as I walked into the restaurant.

The dinners, which were super good, were brought out dish by dish, not table by table, so for a while my only dinner was a mint, while everyone else ate up.

Everyone except Mark, that is.

Mark, The Gentleman

FOOD!

The Flying V

The Boys Bow to Chris and Anne

The secret meeting on Friday was dance practice! The boys worked in the first Mighty Ducks reference of the weekend. Usually everyone lives and breathes The Mighty Ducks, so I knew something had to be up.

PT Gave His Speach

We Posed for Pictures

Little Drunk Dancing

Or, A Lot

A Whole Lot

We had a seriously great time. There was no drama, no one got drunk and hurt themselves, no one spilled on Anne’s dress.

Me and PT

I didn’t even spill on my dress! Which held up very well! I even threw it in the washer at PT’s mom’s house because it still smelled a little like dye. I got quite a few compliments on it, twirled all over the dance floor, and I could throw my camera in my pocket.

The only bad thing that happened was Michigan lost embarrassingly to Iowa in prime time.

(See! Football! Poop! Football! Me? Cry at a wedding? Yeah, right.)

Slider?

(More on that later)

The weather in Chicago was crappy yesterday, which meant my plane was late getting into Minnesota, which meant I made PT, the best man, who was sweet enough to pick me up from the airport, late for the rehearsal.

Chris Taps Keg

But that really didn’t matter. We had a birthday keg to get through.

Mark Hates Dressing

PT, Andy, and Katie are Hungry

Laura and Lucas Love Food

The rehearsal dinner was in the backroom of the Downtowner Woodfire Grill in St Paul, and it was so much fun. I was hesitant to go to the place where my Tigers hopes and dreams were dashed, but the last time I was in Minnesota was a blast, so I tried to put that behind me.

A surefire way of making me happy and forgetting all pain is putting a lot of food in front of me. We had shrimp fettuccine and pizza and flat bread and bruschetta and mushroom cheese spread.

... ok PT. Ok.

So I got over it. At least on the outside.

Chris and Anne Are Getting Married

PT and Chris and Anne go way back. Chris and Anne are adorable and amazing hosts.

And yeah, they are wearing matching outfits. They are just that cute.

Everyone in that room had known each other forever. They all went to middle school together, or lived together for years and years. Chris and Anne have been together for 10 years. Their families lived down the street from each other forever. It was really sweet to be involved in that, even in the tiniest way.

Birthday Boy! (And Andrew)

And it was Jacob’s birthday, and his birthday keg, and the reason Andrew is singing with such gusto. Though I’d like to think he always sings with gusto.

Cupcake Sliders!!

For a special dessert, Chris’s sisters made him CUPCAKE SLIDERS! Remember when I found Bakerella.com and lost my shit over these? What better excuse than your brother getting married to whip these babies up? And they were so cute! And seriously delicious. Any time you can figure out a way to put cupcakes and brownies together, you’re on to something.

I could have eaten an entire crave case of them. And I’ve never said that in my life.

In Memoriam

After the dinner we went back to Chris’s mom’s house, where the keg was, to properly celebrate Jacob’s birthday. So why are these boys so sad? Something about a house plant?

Beaker?

This plant died, and they burned it. There was chanting. I might have witnessed some kind of  ancient Minnesotan wedding sacrifice, I’m not sure.

Today’s agenda? Catch up on hulu, enjoy the fact that it is not snowing, and Party #2 later tonight.

Problems

I mentioned this weekend that, worst case scenario, my Tigers and PT’s Twins would be facing off in a one game playoff to be the champions of the division.

Worst Case Scenario. Hi. How are you? Oh, you are taking place TODAY AT 4:07?!

This is only the 9th time in the history of baseball that a game 163 was required to see who was going to the playoffs. So yeah, it’s kind of a big deal.

And the Tigers have a lot going against them:

1. It’s at the Metrodome. Remember the Metrodome? That place sucks. And it will be filled with screaming Twins fans.

2. The Tigers have the worst road record in baseball.

3. The Twins have won 16 of the last 20 games to tie the Tigers and force this tiebreaker. That’s a lot, and constitutes being on a roll.

I could be here all day listing reasons why the Tigers are going to lose this game. But do I think they are going to lose? No. Well, maybe. GAH! I don’t know, ok?! I’m going to watch this game, and I’m going to be yelling to myself, and hope hope hoping they win, and that is all I can do.

If the Tigers win, the Twins lose, and PT is very sad. If the Tigers lose, the Twins win, and I’m going to be very sad. Either way, I’m glad we don’t have to watch this game together.

Can a relationship survive game 163? Has it ever been done? I’m glad this is almost over.  It’s been a rough ride.

Shrimp Stir Fry with Brown Rice

The cold rain was a nice motivator for PT and I to stay in last night.

(Another untimely Tigers loss and Twins win made it seem like we were both home alone. The Central is still up for grabs. If the Tigers win and Twins lose today the Tigers will win the Central for the first time since 1987. But if the Tigers lose I have to be pissed all day and they have to win tomorrow.)

We made some teriyaki shrimp stir fry with red pepper, broccoli, pineapple, shrimp, and onion, with brown rice. It was so good! I love just throwing things together with some teriyaki stir fry sauce and getting a meal like this.

Cute Packaging!

Note, Pin, and YARN!

I mentioned earlier this week that I won a skein of Kitchen Sink Dyeworks yarn, and it came in yesterday while I was watching The Office!

It was wrapped really cute, came with a handwritten note and a KSD button! It was so sweet, like getting a present from a friend. I will be buying yarn from Kitchen Sink Dyeworks in the future. See what little special touches do?!

And I’m blown away by how beautiful this yarn is! I can’t wait to dive into it.

Any suggestions? I’ve only got 390 yards. I’m thinking lacy shawl? Help!

Workout Fuel

Today was the Michigan/Michigan State game and the Minnesota/Wisconsin game. These are big games; Michigan and Michigan State hate the crap out of each other, and PT was telling me that it’s the same kind of thing with Minnesota and Wisconsin. Neither games were being broadcast on regular TV so we planned to go to the gym to watch them. We made broccoli and onion omelets with pepper jack cheese and a piece of PB&J pumpernickel toast to fuel our workout!

Burritos and Fresh Guacamole

We ran/walked for about two hours while watching Michigan AND Minnesota lose. It was a painful bike ride home! We were tired, sore, and deflated by two close losses. So we made burritos with red pepper, pinto beans, onion, fresh guacamole, black bean and corn salsa, and cabbage.

Girl Friday Started (!)

And I did a bad thing. The Tigers were getting blown out last night, I was sad, it was 8-0, it was rainy and I was cold and baseball sucks and before I knew it I had Girl Friday cast on. Yes, I should be working on presents! But I couldn’t help it.

I figure it’s better to indulge in knitting than, like, a pan of brownies.

And it’s providence because Girl Friday (my Ravelry page) is a Kitchen Sink Dyeworks pattern!

That counts as full circle, right?

I cast on for both front panels and the back, though. I hate knitting a lot of separate pieces. I’m using Lion Brand Fishermen’s Wool, the same yarn I used for the Vogue Cropped Jacket, but in natural.

I checked the gauge at it was so on I creeped myself out. It was exactly exactly exactly on with size 8s. I have never seen a gauge so perfect, even when I used the exact yarn and needles a pattern called for. I can’t wait to start the lace pattern!

… right now!

And I made muffins. They were good.

The stupid Tigers have been in first place since May 10th, but that really doesn’t mean they are a good team. That just means they are slightly less sucky than the rest of the teams in their division.

They have been playing AWFUL for the past week and a half, after sweeping the Rays IN FLORIDA two weekends ago, tricking me into thinking they might be a good team. No. Oh no. They are just trickers. Because they have dropped SEVEN OF THE LAST TEN games. And just because they are doing slightly better than the Twins and White Sox still, despite all that losing, doesn’t mean they are a good team.

So after the Tigers gave up 5 runs in 3 innings and having this conversation with PT:

Ingredients!

Ingrediants

COOOOOkies

The Tigers lost 9-2, but I ate 4 cookies so I don’t feel as bad. We are playing the Twins this weekend, but at least I’ve already given up on life so I don’t have to get mad at PT about it.