Felicity debuted when I was a freshmen in high school. She was a freshman in college that first season and I thought Felicity was like a gimps four years into my future. And what did I have to look forward to? Getting to choose which cute boy to love: Ben or Noel.
You ask a girl around my age ‘Ben or Noel?’ and she immediately knows what you are talking about. I can’t even begin to count how many conversations I’ve had with girls where they compare the two boys they are dating to Ben and Noel. Or compare their boyfriend to Noel and the boy they have a crush on to Ben.
It’s simple, really. Noel is the cute nerd you love spending time with and hanging out with and doing everything with who loves the crap out of you and who you are supposed to marry and love forever. Ben is the sexy asshole with the heart of gold who will beat someone up in a bar if they look at you funny, but then forget your birthday. He is the boy you think you can save and he is just nice enough to you, pays just enough attention to you, to get you to love him but be mostly miserable. And he does love you, he is just a boy. Whereas Noel would drop everything for you any time you called him.
Ben
Season one, which I have been re-watching this week for the 100th time, ends with Felicity torn: Noel, who she was dating before she cheated on him but of course he is still in love with her, invites her to go to Germany with him for the summer because he got a smarty pants graphic designer internship, and it wouldn’t be the same without her. Siigh.
Ben, though, just broke up with Julie (Felicity’s best friend) because he realized after all this time that he loves Felicity and wants her to drive across the country with him to start the summer. He is taking the trip by himself anyway, but it wouldn’t be the same without her.
When that episode first aired I was like, ‘SHE HAS TO GO WITH NOEL HE IS SO CUTE AND NICE AND SWEET AND THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!’ My mom, though, said to me, ‘She has to pick Ben because it is more interesting. Season two would be boring if she spent the summer with Noel.’
That sentence has stuck with me in the worst way possible. I’ve dated Noels and have been in love with Bens my whole life. In a subconscious effort not to be boring, to make season two way more interesting, I break up with Noel and date Ben, only to get pissed and sad, and then I stop talking to all boys.
Noel
Last scene of season one is Felicity in a cab. The camera is far away so you can’t tell what she says to the cab driver. Is she meeting Noel at the airport? Or is she going over to Ben’s apartment where he is waiting for her?
We had to wait all summer to find out.
Season one came out on DVD when I was a freshmen in college. One of my friends bought it, and we watched the entire thing in one weekend. I have this great picture somewhere of me and five other girls in our pajamas, holding the Felicity boxes, making sad faces after finishing all 22 episodes, and four pizzas.
We debated. I’ve debated this issue forever. You answer depends on your life. When I am happily dating a Noel, I of course would go with Noel to Germany. When I am not happily dating a Noel and getting fucked around by a Ben, I of course would go with Ben.
Felicity goes with Ben. Then Ben, in true Ben fashion, takes a job in Mexico for the rest of the summer, leaving Felicity in California all by herself, then, when they are back in school, tells her he doesn’t want a girlfriend.
At the end of the series she ends up with Ben, but after four years of putting up with his bullshit. He cheats on her, he has a baby with a different woman, he is an alcoholic, he has a gambling problem, he almost fails out of school a bunch of times, her parents hate him.
Is it worth it? We love Bens, we can’t help it. But, if she would have just stuck with Noel and been a little bored, wouldn’t she be ultimately happier?
So. Which is it? Ben or Noel?
this conundrum is why i am perpetually single.
Comment by t — August 3, 2009 @ 1:20 pm
I’m hoping you find the middle ground, a Boel, if you will, (Nen?) during your social experiment so I can leave my house on the weekends hoping I’ll find someone I like talking to more than I like talking to my cats.
… oh shit. That sentence was the beginning of the end.
Comment by allyson — August 3, 2009 @ 1:37 pm
I just introduced this series to a friend of mine who is about to start college. I am watching it with her and my answer is the same today as it was when I first watched about ten years ago…she should have chosen Ben. Ben was what inspired her to move across country and go to school in NY. Ben was always that one elusive guy for her and if she hadn’t chosen to go with him on the road trip she would have always wondered “what if?” and it would have driven her crazy. Even if they got back to school and it never worked out between them at least she would never have been plagued with that doubt. Noel is a sweet, sincere guy, but Ben was always the guy for her. Noel even said it himself, that he would never “inhabit” her the way that Ben did.
Team Ben all the way!
Comment by Peyton — August 17, 2009 @ 1:04 pm
Man! I know you are right.
But Noel! I just want to hug him!
Apparently it is a good thing this wasn’t my problem.
Comment by allyson — August 17, 2009 @ 1:07 pm
Haha, yeah Noel did seem very huggable! But I can’t help it, the whole “bad boy with a heart of gold” thing gets me every time.
Comment by Peyton — August 17, 2009 @ 5:02 pm
the way the show is set up, everything is from Felicity’s perspective. and we the audience know and appreciate how introspective, sensitive and wholesome a person Felicity is. but from Noel’s perspective, Felicity is *such* a jerk. She uses him, treats him badly, doesn’t appreciate him, etc. Felicity never ‘means’ to hurt Noel, but that’s always what happens. does that sound familiar? it’s because Felicity does to Noel what Ben does to Felicity.
and that, I guess, is why Felicity ‘deserves’ Ben, and does not deserve Noel. the fact that she ends up with Ben is totally unrealistic — the Bens of this world always end up alone — but it is for the best, because Noel deserves better, honestly.
maybe this all sounds like I’m not a fan of the show. but I totally am. I love it. I love the characters — though sometimes I wondered if Felicity was really a good person at all, and was not just pretending she was ‘pensive’ and ‘intense’ when she was really just narcissistic and self-absorbed. when I began to think of Felicity as deeply flawed, I began to think of Ben as a better match for her.
Comment by Jenna — October 26, 2010 @ 7:59 am
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Comment by steerdese — January 4, 2011 @ 8:13 am
wow i just started watching this series, i’m still on season 1 but i am absolutely in love with Noel. He’s just so selfless and he actually cares y’no?
Ben, oth seems like a total douche. So he’s a little confused and messed up and comes from a rubbish family- lol n that app. means he treats felicity however he feels like that day- 2am visits n then ignoring her like she’s some crazy fan girl who followed him to uni
But then again.. can i say i’m still deciding?
Comment by TJ — February 23, 2011 @ 5:57 pm
I couldn’t agree more with Jenna. I’ve just rewatched season 1 and I do think Felicity is not a good person or, in Julie’s words, just a “lying bitch”. You see, she says she has known people who became so important to her (now talking about her best girl friend – Julie – and her boyfriend/best guy friend – Noel). I would never, ever consider hurting the two most important people in my life the way she did by choosing the road trip with Ben. C’mon, it had been 1 week since he had broken up with Julie. And after what happened with Eli, she just let Noel down again.
She is a really selfish, self-centered, despicable girl.
I guess she had these teenage dreams about Ben and I’m glad he let her down so many times too, because she more than deserved it. I can say I like the actress performance and that all these conflicts are essential to the show, but I’d never want to be friends with someone like that, a real problem-person.
Comment by Dena — May 17, 2011 @ 10:43 am
Team Noel. All the way. Noels are the kind of guys that are loyal and love you no matter what. If you want a fling date a Ben. If you want a relationship date a Noel.
Comment by Tara — October 23, 2011 @ 7:57 pm
I agree with Tara. Team NOEL!!
Comment by Stephine — December 16, 2011 @ 3:26 am
I’m with Tara also….Team Noel! Ben just jerked her around and made her unhappy most of the time. That guy is too much drama. Have your fling with him and be done…when marry NOEL!Ben would only cheat on her over and over again.
Comment by Tina — January 21, 2012 @ 12:37 am
As an audience member it’s easy to see things from Felicity’s perspective. While watching the show, kind of like Felicity, I find myself yo-yo-ing between Noel and Ben. First season: Pick Noel. First half of season 2: Pick Noel. Second half of of Season 2: Pick Ben. First half of Season Three: Pick Ben. Second half of season 3: Pick Noel. I’ll start re-watching season 4 soon, so we’ll see who I ultimately want her to be with. Well anyway, my point is that it’s easy to see why she’s torn between the two. In season one, I wanted her to pick Noel. BUT I knew she would pick Ben because who wouldn’t? No one wants to live with a “what if” their whole life. That said, from memory I always thought it was Noel who she should have chosen. I saw the whole time travel thing as a metaphor for real life. How many of us get a great opportunity, or meet the perfect guy only to make the wrong choice? How many of us realize the “Noel” was the one you really wanted but too late? Felicity, like most of us, has to live with her choices. And she chose Ben. He may have a heart of gold, but he’s always going to be a risk. Noel would have treated her like a queen.
Comment by AT — February 7, 2012 @ 7:37 pm