I had horses growing up, and this is a real thing. If you get kicked off a horse you have to jump back on and tell that horse what is up. YOU are what is up. Not that horse. That horse did you wrong! That horse tried to tell you that you suck. You do not suck!
I do not suck! I can cook, you stupid horse.
I still had failure on the brain yesterday when I fished out these rice noodles. I smelled them. I pinched them. I read the ingredients and instructions. I glared at the buckwheat noodles still parked next to these in the pantry. They looked safe, being rice noodles, but I was still worried. Was there something I was overlooking? Could the gross culprit be something else?
I chopped the veggies, I cooked the noodles (still smelling normal I started to feel better), I stir fried the veggies, I mixed up the dressing, I threw it all together and put it in the fridge. I crossed my fingers.
Success! I can cook! And those buckwheat noodles are going in the trash.
For lunch today I cooked up a doozie. My mom tipped me off to this trick, which she got from HungryGirl. While damage controlling some family business (Matthew, my youngest brother, has decided to move out of my mom’s house with no job/money. Boys.), I poured 1/2 a cup of milk in my bowl and mixed in a little sugar free/fat free pudding mix. I let it sit while I chopped an apple, defrosted my raspberries and, cleaned my blueberries. I dumped in 1/2 a cup of oats, my three fruits, and sprinkled some nutty cereal and raisins on top. What did I get? An amazingly nutritious lunch mascaraing as a pudding treat! I put in about half a tablespoon of the pudding mix and it thickened up that milk so much! This was a pudding parfait.
Interestingly, there had been very little brain eating in the whole 130 pages I had read of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies up until I was eating a meal with a brain-like consistency. Didn’t remotely bother me, though. I love this book so much I could literally be eating brains while reading it and still be happy. That is love.